$luts x2

Just after I wrote my last blog I experienced another excruciating social experience. Those teenage super sluts from last time invited me to watch a basketball game with them. If I had known it was going to be them I would have made an excuse, but another T.S.S member who I hadn't met yet asked me to come. Oh the agony.

I'm not a fan of watching basketball, but I enjoyed it a hell of a lot more than mindless gossip.

"hahaha like I just kissed him and then he like gave me a nickname. Hahahaha. The nickname was something stupid haha, it was like peaches or something! Isn't that funny!? Hahahaha, oh and this other girl who was there was totally jealous, she was like death staring me the entire night. Hahaha, but she's a bitch anyway so it doesn't count."

Eaaargh...

$luts

So you all know me, I'm a huge fan of the Burqa. I think it's disgraceful to see a woman express any form of free will.

(it's ok guys, it's sarcasm)

Well, America has definitely taken advantage of freedom of expression. I was at a party 2 nights ago where it was not uncommon to play a drinking game with the word 'strip' right in front of it. My personal favorite is 'strip slap cup'.
Girls have no inhibitions here. I witnessed two heterosexual girls literally exchange tequila (it's a euphemism, guys) 7 times in one night.
Let me make this very clear. I'm not complaining! I just think it's very different and amusing :)

For the girls sake I won't mention their names. I think both Isabella and Madelaine would probably prefer to be anonymous.

Garden of Eden

I was walking back to Moore Hill last night and I overheard a few people talking about a rumor. Legend had it that above Jester (the cafeteria), there existed a second floor - another cafeteria, unknown to anyone with an all you can eat buffet. At the time I dismissed it for unsubstantiated rumor. But the itch got to me. I had to find it. A buffet!? All you can eat!? No lines!?

I set off at dawn (1:30pm). The sitars to the second floor were well hidden - in between a post office and a pizza store. I got to the second floor and there was nothing there but construction work. Barren wooden walls and wooden floors instructing people to only wear safety gear. Still, I persisted. To the right someone started a construction drill! To the left - dust! It was tough to see, impossible to navigate. I must have been in there for 10 minutes now! The place was a maze!

But out of the dark hazy mist and loud construction noises I saw a light. It was a bright yellow light - a construction light. I followed it, somewhat distracted by its overwhelming beauty. Using my right arm to filter out the smog, I walked closer and closer into the abyss.

What's this? The smoke started settling. The construction light now dim. Below the construction light lay a sign. "J2 buffet $7". Could this be it? I stepped in like a child walking into a giant candy store made out of xbox's.

There it was, the most beautiful thing anyone has ever seen. The Garden of Eden. An almost empty cafeteria with 8 different types of food, all made by dozens of chefs right in front of you for only $7. Wheezing and drooling I stumbled towards the front desk. A beautiful woman smiled at me kindly and pointed me in the direction of the food as I swiped my card.

I had a bowl of corn puffs and then I went back to Moore Hill. Awesome


And now for something completely different: Might get involved in Rowing while I'm here. It's 6 days / week training. 2 hours / day. 600 $/ semester. If I have the time and the money, I'm definitely doing it. Not because I want to dedicate myself to a sport and feel a sense of community and not because I want to become a member of something larger than myself, but because I've been eating a lot of shit food recently, and I need to do some exercise to burn off all the calories I devour.

corruption

No, this post is not about corrupt politics - even though I've already seen quite a bit of that on TV lately.

This post is about my roommate and my evil ambitions. Slowly, very slowly, I'm corrupting him. He's been drinking with me for the last two nights. For all those who don't know, this is how alcoholism starts.

And now for something completely different... (yay for Monty Python reference!?). I met an Australian girl on the bus back from 6th st (party st). She didn't believe I was Australian at first. She thought I was some ignorant American trying to impress her. Had a good convo. Turns out she has the same impressions of America as I did when I first came here 3 weeks ago - fast food everywhere!

I'm missing cooked meals! I want to make my own pasta, but it's far too tempting to just walk 20m to the nearest cafeteria and get a meal made for you. Speaking of which, I'm starving. Probs gonna head to that Cafeteria.

Oh also, I've been heavily drinking 4 nights in a row! Take that, liver!

drinking

So my drink was spiked last night. I only had 5 beers and I was COMPLETELY wasted. No, I'm not that much of a light weight. It was a great night out. The city scene here is much more social. You can actually talk to people! Plus there is not much emphasis on dancing which I really like.

I've been talking to people here, and they tell me that spiking a drink with ever-clear is not uncommon.

I attended my class hungover - something I have wanted to do for ages.

Hats and Blindfolds

Even though the whole hat wearing thing is freaking me out over here, I've decided to swallow my pride and go out and assimilate. I purchased a 16$ UT hat. It's awesome! The genius in wearing hats is now so apparent. I won't have to cut or wash my hair for 4 months ! All I need to do is hide my disgusting, over grown and messy hair under a smelly hat!

I also bumped into a blind man earlier today (literally). I apologized and offered to help him across a few blocks (streets) until he reached his destination. He was lost and really appreciated the help. It was an interesting walk too. He was a nice bloke and had an interesting character.

The disgusting worm hole (my timetable) is looking slightly better. But there are still so many bureaucratic walls to jump over. It's looking more hopeful than last week did.

I've also applied to live in a Co-Op now. And the odds are unlikely at this stage (because they are all full), but it's still possible that in the next 10 days something can open up.

Dorms vs Co-Ops

The last few days have been really busy for me. I've been trying to sort out my timetable (which is finally looking good) and I've been trying to find a Co-Op to live in.

I've got until Feb 1st to move otherwise I end up paying for Moore Hill.

Don't get me wrong! I love Moore Hill. It's just that it doesn't offer me the American party college life which I've wanted from the start. I just came back from 21st Co-Op. AWESOME PLACE. So social, the people there are all alcoholics and junkies. I was put on a stage in front of everyone that lives there. It's tradition to VOTE whether a person gets to move into the Co-Op. They asked all types of horrible embarrassing questions. One was "how did you hear about this place?". I replied "I literally heard about this place, it's so loud! I love it". Another question was; "would you rather receive a good blow job from your grandmother or a bad blow job from your grandmother?". The questions go on for about 10 minutes, then you have to go inside a quiet room while they vote whether you stay. I made it! !

All I have to do is apply for a double and there is a good chance I'll get it.

Roommate

So I met my roommate yesterday. Good bloke. He's an Asian Electrical Engineer who doesn't (DOESN'T) drink. But that's ok because he's still pretty social. Also his parents bought me lunch... mmmMmmMm.

I went to party last night too, and that was pretty sick. I met a lot of interesting social people there and got a few contacts which will be useful for future binge drinking endeavors.

Oh and just this morning I got a knock on my door from two semi attractive 19 (maybe 18) year old girls. They were just knocking on every door to welcome people into the dorms. They really pride themselves on being super slutty bisexuals.

Ranting time: WTF UT!! Why did my classes vanish! I've been sending out emails constantly to try and remedy this colossal fuck up. Gurrr.

Also "whataburger" is so yummy... MmmMmMmm

Wow

So I was drinking with the same crew last night. Once again, a very fun night. Towards the end I noticed that there were only 11 of the residents in the house, which was strange because there are 12 people living there. So I innocently asked where 'fun guy' was.

It turns out that 'fun guy' (the bloke who offered me coke for a beer a few days back) was in hospital. He'd been there for a day and a half now. Apparently, he'd been doing coke regularly for a month straight and had lost blood circulation in parts of his body. He'll have to have a foot amputated.

Wow

friends

I'm just coming back from having dinner with a family friend and his daughter. It was a nice meal, AWESOME FOOD. I've been living off cornflakes and discarded slices of pizza until I had this awesome curry. MmmMmmmMM. Both people are pretty cool - I enjoyed their company.

I'm off to go drinking with Vivik and eteianasdl;fkjadg;lj (it's pronounced aa - tee - kay). This should be a fun night. They're really social guys, and the roommates they hang out with are awesome cool (more information look down).

Oh, I almost forgot my characteristic rant at the end of every blog. PHONES ARE SO FRICKEN EXPENSIVE! GURRRR. ATnT, haha, more like 'A Terrible Networking Telecommunications network) - that's right, I made up that acronym right there and then!

Adios

The end of the begining

It's pretty scary to think that I've already been here for a week. Which means more than 1% of my time here is done (Yeah maths!).

But the intro chapter is almost done. I've already met the most people that are going to be the most influential in my stay here - the RA's. They're great people; very social and very friendly. I met them last night while they were planning a plot line for a movie they want to create for everyone to watch when all the other freshmen (1st years) come in. They made an effort to include me, which was very nice - and I think I made a good first impression on them.

Tonight they were filming the movie. It's as good as a movie created by 19 year old's can be. But it was still fun and enjoyable. I felt a bit like an outsider tonight than I did last night though. Obviously I had no role to play in a movie created for just RA's. So all I could do is watch and make an occasional comment or joke. I think I've got everyone's characters down pact though, which is a good thing. I stick by my initial impression that they're very social and nice people.
I hope they think the same.

But I've been getting some very sobering thoughts rushing to my head lately. I fear that because Moore Hill is so overpopulated by 19 year olds, the drinking alcohol scene will be a lot less relaxed. I mean, I'm sure they'll drink alcohol - at designated parties OUTSIDE of Moore Hill, but the 'sit down and have a beer with your neighbor whenever you feel like it' thing will not exist here. Underage drinking within dorms is quite strict here. They only have some form of leniency if your roommate is of drinking age. I really hope that my electrical engineering Asian roommate is 21 or older.

Also, I've recently discovered that the Gym is now open and free. Yippie! I can finally burn off my love handles...

Oh and before I go: everyone here is so well adapted to fast food. Americans have a tolerance to fast food which I have not developed yet. You know when you see one slice of Pizza remaining in the box, and even though you're not hungry and no one else wants it, you still have that burning desire to eat it? They don't have that! It must be some type of evolutionary counter measure to their obesity problems. I hope I develop it soon, I can only spend a maximum of 24 hours in the gym.

Social lives

Beer. It's cheap here. Too cheap. I think the savings I get from all the cheap beer here will be greater than the liver surgery I'll have to have when I leave. People here are really friendly too. It's very easy to just walk up to someone and have a conversation.

I think people in America are generally more social than Australians. The conversations you have here tend to be more interesting, and social groups aren't as isolated. I remember having troubles trying to fit in in a new social circle back in Aus. That's not the case here - especially because my Australian nationality can act as a great ice breaker.

One social trend which I still don't get here though is the constant hat wearing. Why? Everyone where's hats, it's so weird! I was shopping in a supermarket where there is no chance of getting burned but every guy still wears these stupid black hats backwards. I think it makes people look like nerds trying to act cool - I guess they think otherwise.

I've almost ran out of corn flakes... I guess I'll have to move onto sugar sprinkled donuts.

Syrup

supermarkets have a whole isle dedicated to syrup.

that is all.

Religion

This post is gonna be about religion. If you're not interested, look at the pretty advertisements on the corner of your computer screen for a few days until i create a new blog.

It's impossible not to notice the churches here. You'll have a church literally about 40 meters away from another church. Not only that, but there seems to be some territory wars going on too. It's not uncommon to see a Protestant church located just adjacent to a Catholic church.

It's also really common to use Jesus as an advertising tool. I picked up what I thought was a flyer for a church service (because it had "Jesus loves you" in big capital letters on the very front), but after I read the thing it turned out to be a menu for a Mexican fast food joint opening on Guadalupe st.

I'm suspecting the unemployment is a huge concern in Texas after the GFC. There are homeless people scattered everywhere throughout the streets. Consequently, I can really see what an amazing influence religion has on people here. It seems to bring out the best in everyone. It's common for a homeless person to approach you to ask for money. But even if you reject him/ her, they're still really polite and friendly, and they really use Christian colloquialisms a whole lot (like "god bless you sir"). I gave an African American person (apparently it's offensive to say 'black man') a dollar yesterday as I was walking back home. He shook my hand and said "Jesus loves your sir". I replied by saying "Jesus loves all of us" and he almost cried. The logical part of me is saying that this kind behavior is just a scam to take some of your money, but I don't mind. I think it's a crucial ingredient to make an interesting culture.

Oh yeah, I was approached by two North Korean (NORTH!) men earlier today. I suppose they considered themselves missionaries. They came up to me and asked if I believed in Jesus Christ. I said I do (because that's my alter ego here). Then they pulled out a bible. It turns out that these two men have been translating the Bible into Korean, and they wanted my help to translate a few passages which confused them. They opened the book and pointed to a line which said "God is all powerful" and then they flicked to another part of the bible which read "God is not all powerful" and then asked me to explain what that means. Fortunately for me, I've watched dozens of "Atheist Experience" episodes where dozens of conservative Christians attempt to crawl out of these obvious contradictions. Almost instantly I replied with a few generic safety quotes: "The bible only appears to contradict if the soul is impure", "one of quotes is out of context" and "it's a metaphor, it's not meant to be interpreted literally". They seemed about as unsatisfied as I was when I first heard those quotes. None the less, they thanked me and walked on.

Oh and before I publish this post. I just want to vent a bit. I'M FUCKING HUNGRY. I don't want to eat fast food. But my feet hurt and I don't want to walk to a grocery store which is a mile (1.6km) away! EaarrgghhhH! (Texas is still awesome though)

People

So I have not updated by blog for the last 2 (or 3?) days. Not the best start to this thing, eh?

A few days ago I found myself walking through UT campus at about 1:30am (I couldn't sleep and the receptionist said it was safe) when I walked into this youngster who looked about 2 years younger than me. Interesting bloke. He had a torn shirt, covered in dirt, and was wearing no shoes (doesn't he know how stupid it is not to wear shoes?). After an awkward introduction, he asked me if I could lend him a sleeping bag or a bed for a night. I said no, but he kept on playing the sympathy card. He told me about how he ran away from home about a week ago from Huston and how he'd given away his money and his shoes to someone on the street who he thought needed it more. Not only that, but about every 30 seconds he'd somehow always manage to segway to some biblical quote and end it with "you're always loved! Always loved!".

Not only that, but I met up with two people at the international seminar yesterday. They're doing their PHD in Aerodynamic Engineering [loud whistle]. They invited me to their place later on in the evening. Their roommates are amazing - all of them are druggies :P. At some point in the night, a bloke asked me if I wanted to trade a dos equis (awesome mexican beer) with a line of Cocane (don't worry mum, I didn't do it).

Oh yeah, one of the Americans was a hippy (like a legit hippy). He sat by himself, and swayed to the rhythm of the music for hours. He was wearing a bandana, and a whole bunch of other clothing which I can't even describe.

I'd like to more about the people I met, but my memory has gone on strike. Ah well, I'm meeting up with them again tonight anyway.

Dallas an Austin

So yeah, I really don't care if I don't get the dates right in my blog because, you know, I can't get the dates right in my head. I had to ask the Taxi driver what day it was when I got to Austin Texas. (to be honest, I probably wouldn't have known even if I was in Sydney)

I had a pretty deep conversation with the middle eastern / American Taxi driver. He told me how hard it was to live in Texas post 9/11. But things settled down a bit and he left me with a lasting impression: "Oh wow! So you're from Australier!?"

I was pretty jet lagged, but that didn't stop me from roaming around the University campus. ITS FUCKING HUGE! (that's not what she said). The campus is amazing! I'd seen pictures on google images and that gave me the impression that it was quite small and cramped. I couldn't be more wrong. I think I'm going to have a good time here.

Oh yeah, I recently discovered this amazing fast food joint. I'm gonna come back home at least 10kg heavier.

Texas flying!

I've decided to write a blog of some kind. This idea was inspired by the awful caramel slice I just got on my 13 hour flight from Sydney to LA. I just needed a medium where I could vent.

Now, where to start? Well, I suppose any good blog should start off with a feeling of nervousness. 3 hours after saying goodbye to my parents, and after an hour of anxiously waiting at my gate (about 20 minutes after the flight was meant to be boarding). I heard a pair of faint speakers blast out "flight to LA now in its final stages of boarding - please board at gate 53". Not something you want to hear when your boarding pass reads Gate 9! After about 10 minutes of rationally convincing myself that there are other flights that go to LA, I heard again "Flight to LA in its final stages of boarding. Could a Mr. James please get to gate 53 NOW..." Before I could shit myself with embarrassment I heard the speakers finish with "Could a Mr. Yahuysiv Chobic James please board at gate 53." After 10 minutes of resting my ass muscles, I found myself on the right plane, ready to go!