Inevitability

One of my favorite lines from the Matrix is: "You hear that Mr. Anderson?... That is the sound of inevitability..." Don't worry, this quote is relevant. I've constantly got the thought of me leaving America plaguing me wherever I go. I've noticed that very occasionally I will randomly get small anxiety attacks or a small wave of depression which completely destroys my normal optimistic outlook. To my friends around me, it must look like I'm bipolar. It's just very strange being almost completely sure that the best time of your life is coming to an end. To remedy this, I'm forcing myself to do more and more activities. For example, I went to a Casey Donahue concert last Wednesday. He's an American country singer, and although he's very talented, I couldn't understand a word he was saying. Today has been really unproductive. I woke up at 1:00pm and walked down to Viveks place to return his shoes which I borrowed last night so I could go downtown. After that I met up with Caroline and studied in the library. But I was unable to get any work done - I was just too hungover, and YouTube is a giant magnet for bored, hungover procrastinators like me. Back to inevitability. I've come to the conclusion that the experience you have in another country isn't entirely dependent on what country you're in, but how you perceive that country. So this implies that my life in Australia can be revolutionized if I just have a new optimistic outlook. This is uplifting news, but it's going to be very tough to get out of the routine that I've developed while I've been in Sydney. It's going to be a great challenge creating a new life for myself when I go back home. Not only that, but the whole 'I'm only here for 1 semester' has really given me an unconscious invincibility mindset to try new things and have no regrets. And that mindset will be the hardest thing to replicate when I go back home. So in summary, the fact that I always knew my time in America was temporary has been fantastic for making me experience life in a new and exciting way, but it's also responsible for anxieties I have about leaving. 22 Days to go :(