Dubai day 2

After Vicky and Alex went off to work I spent about an hour strutting around the apartment eating their food, showering and booking a flight for tomorrow. I decided to go to Prague, Czech Republic.

I figured no trip to Dubai would be complete without seeing an artificial island so I went to Palm Jumeirah to catch a monorail to Atlantis adventure. Its a water park constructed on purely artificial ground and it's massive. Right next to it was an even massiver hotel called Atlantis. And near that they were constructing the massiverist thing ever. Calm down Dubai! You don't need to build so much stuff! Everyone thinks you've overcompensating.

One thing that struck me about the island (and Dubai in general) is that it's textbook beautiful. Everything was so perfect and looked after, but it has no character. I felt like a character in Wall-E.

On my way back I asked a tram assistant to direct me to the nearest monorail to go to the gold souk. He was very specific and told me to transfer here and hop on there, but I stopped him half way through and clarified that I wanted to walk to the nearest monorail. He gave me an expression of pure panic and tried to reason with me by saying "but sir, the monorail is a 15 minute walk from here!".

After the exhausting walk I took the monorail to Al Ras to see the souk. It was a big change from the city center. There were beaten down side shops, crappy resteraunts, dirty roads and locals! Finally, some culture. I got lost and ended up stumbling into a resteraunt jam packed with locals. They didn't give me a menu or a knife and fork, they just sat me down and shoved two bowls of meat in front of me with a large slice of bread. I actually enjoyed the system they had there; I didn't get my plates cleaned for me, instead I had to clean my plates myself. I ended up making good friends with another guy there. He was from Comores; a tiny island off east Africa. It's a French colony so his French was awesome but his English was quite crude. I got talking to him for quite a while and he told me about his difficulties in searching for a job in Dubai. He was going to leave back to his country in 1 week because he never found a 'business job'. He spent close to an hour hyping up this magnificent work of architecture that he said I had to see while I was here. He was unable to communicate what it was so he decided to show me; it was only a 10 minute walk to get there. I finally arrived at the 'magnificent work of architecture' and discovered it was just a tunnel with cars driving into it. The poor guy had never seen a tarmac road before, yet alone a tunnel.

Before I left I went to a kebab place. Kebabs are so much smaller here! I guess thinking that kebabs in the middle east would be baseball bat sized chunks of heaven was an unrealistic expectation. Australian kebabs are far superior!

After Alex and Vicky finished work we drove to the burjkalife (I have absolutely no idea how to spell that), which is the tallest building in the world, to have a fancy upperclass steak at some fancy upperclass Argentinean resteraunt. The food was great, the view was spectacular and the tip alone cost what I would usually pay for my weekly food shopping.

On my way back I discovered that Dubai is made up of little specialized cities. You can find 'business city', 'healthcare city', 'internet city' etc etc. How Brave New World is that!?

My lasting impression of Dubai is that its very artificial. Both literally and metaphorically. But I guess that's to be expected from a country which is: teeming with money, has sacrificed some of its Muslim roots, and is made up of 91% foreigners!  Despite that, I still really enjoyed Dubai; it was a refreshing break and a good chance to meet my family. Dubai is a great place to live if you want to live an easy, upperclass and culturally vacant lifestyle. I don't think that lifestyle is for me though.

Alright, my plane is about to land in Prague. I know literally nothing about this place other than it has good cheap beer. Just before I boarded my flight I looked up an address of a hostel:

Na Zderaze 267/10, 120 00 Praha-Nové Město, Czech Republic

Time to continue exploring!

Dubai day 1

I arrived in Dubai on the 8th March at 8:45am. I grabbed my bags, stole some WiFi and took a taxi to the Ritz hotel where my mum and aunty were still staying.

The Ritz is a 5 star hotel (or at least it felt that way in comparison to the shit holes I've been staying in for the past few days). I felt completely out of place at this hotel, I mean they even had free apples at reception! In an attempt to fit in I practiced an arrogant laugh to use on the staff there. "Huahahaeiraph".  After cleaning up and having breakfast my mum checked out of the hotel and took me to my cousins place.

Once we arrived my mum and I walked around the neighborhood to try amd find some Arabic food. God I missed hommus (is that how you spell it? I don't know). My mum then left to go to the airport and I crashed on my cousins couch for 3 hours.

Vicky arrived back from work early and we decided to walk to the beach (less than a 5 minutes walk away) to grab a few beers. Ironically I got a lot of flashbacks of England because the last time I met my cousins Vicky took me to the nearest pub to have a few drinks with the promise Alex would join later. Alex got off work about an hour later and we walked through the beach resort to the Weston to meet him; he was too lazy to walk to us. Typical Alex.

The place we ate at was a very upper class pizza parlor. It had wood fired pizzas, fantastic drinks, good service and PORK! That's right, it turns out that the only thing that can work its way around strict Islamic culture is a hotel. The US army could learn a lot from this.

When we got back to the apartment Alex went to bed but I stayed up talking to Vicky for a few hours drinking wine on the balcany. We were on level 68 in the highest (or second highest, I can't remember) residential building in the world so it had a wonderful view of the city. With no need for a map, Vicky just lazily pointed at places I could visit tomorrow while she was at work.

Nepal day 4 - day i can't even remember

As I'm writing this post I'm sitting impatiently in the departure gate of the Kathmandu international airport. My flight was scheduled to leave on the 4th but the earliest flight I could get was on the 8th due to a Turkish airlines flight crash landing on the runway, canceling all flights. Consequently for the last 4 full days I've been trapped in Kathmandu with cheap food, great beer and awesome people. Its been such a nightmare. I've been keenly following the repair process of the Turkish airlines flight so I could have a better idea of when I'd be able to escape this god forsaken paradise. It turns out that they'd planned on sending 11 Engineers to the airport to repair the plane; no wonder it took so long! The Engineers flight was probably canceled.

OK OK OK there's a lot of blogging ive missed out while I've been hiking up Everest. Let me just start from the beginning and go from there.

The Everest crew and I began our adventure by catching a small broken down propellar plane to Lukla. We flew through the air like a cannon ball and landed on a landing strip that was no longer than 100m. I now find it ironic that the international airliner crashed and not our crappy folded piece of paper.

When we started tracking we were bombarded with awesome views of the country side. There were villages, mountains, rivers, yaks, dogs, cute Nepalis children, muels and porters to gawk at. The porters earned a large deal of respect from me because they carried 4 of our 10kg bags each. At first I thought that the porters must be the hero's of Nepal. A few days later I would discover how incorrect I was. The first walk was a peice of cake; it only lasted 3 hours and really made us all underestimate the difficulty of the rest of the hike. To end the day our guide, Dinesh, asked us to partake in a group activity where we all say 2 highlights and 1 lowlight about the day. Daniel (ze German) was honest enough to say "the food is pretty expensive..." but was cut short by Dinesh almost bursting into tears. We learned afterwards to always say "no lowlights" for the next few days. Don't worry though because by the 3rd day everyone was genuine with their 'no lowlights' comment.

Everyday got harder and harder, yet the reward got better and better. We saw no snow for the first 8 days, but that didn't stop us from freezing in -20°C conditions. The views were spectacular, especially when you crossed rickity suspension bridges 600m in the air. The food remained expensive and of poor quality; most guest houses along the way had a 'if it can fit in a toaster, then I can cook it policy'. I once ordered "spathetti with soup" which turned out to be a few strands of noodles in boiling water - now that's pathetti.

One of the most memorable things we got to do before we got to the top was play soccer. Most guest houses would have a spare soccer ball which we would use to play against the locals. I'm one of our games we even played against some Monks. Fun fact: monks are awesome at football! Its like they have God on their side or something. We westerners had no chance mainly due to the high altitude. Every 5m of running would be followed by wheezing, coughing and panting. That being said, I think the affects of altitude sickness were vastly overrated for our trip; I never experienced a headache once. The only notable effect of altulitude sickness when sleeping for me was that my dreams became MUCH more real. My roommate would often tell me that I was sleep laughing or sleep screaming at 3:00 in the morning. Pretty crazy, huh?

By day 7 we found a cute dog that followed us for 2 straight days up the mountain. He didn't quite make it to base camp with us, but he got close. We called him "Mo Mo" after the delicious Nepalese snack food. We weren't very creative with our name assigning. Originally Matt Gates was called Matt 1 and I was called Matt a. Later we were known Matt 1a- and Matt a1'. 

The day we reached the top was undoubtably the best. Base camp was nothing more than a pile of rocks, but that didn't make the sense of accomplishment any less amazing. Once we hit base camp we were hit by a blizzard. The snow was so severe that the visibility was only 20m. We also heard 4 consecutive strikes of thunder which our guide later admitted was actually the sound of 4 avalanches. We managed to treck out just before the path to base camp was closed due to dangerous conditions. Everyone behind us had to say goodbye to their base camp dream and head back. I personally loved the challenging conditions because it allowed me to finally get my frozen beard. It was just as awesome as I had dreamed it would be.

Because of the blizzard, the path back home looked completely different. It was like we had trecked into a different world. The snow was wonderfully thick and was great to trudge through. We found Mo Mo again rolling and playing in the snow without a care in the world on our way down. It took 4 days to get back to Lukla with the path we'd chosen. We were lucky with our choice because the other path (which involved going past Pakra one day later) managed to get 6m of snow. The poor guys there had to be helicopter evacuated out.

When we arrived back in Lukla we shared our stories and memories. I personally won't forget how beautiful Everest looked. Unlike any other mountain around it, its tip pierced the clouds which formed a surreal halo around it. Later on the crew decided to go out and dance to celebrate. Sadly this a bad end to an amazing trip because my phobia of dancing got the better of me again and I ended up isolating myself from the group. Seriously why is dancing such an international standard for having fun? Can't people enjoy not jerkjng their bodies in weird directions?

We flew our paper airplane back to the land of sneezing grey filth and dysentry the next morning. Kathmandu was a welcome change though because water was only 15 rupies (unlike the 380 they were charging us at base camp) and food was delicious.

When I first heard my flight to Dubai was canceled, I was at first overjoyed because I thought it would give me enough time to experience the Holi festival which was the next day. The festival was brilliant. I met a few new people and enjoyed splattering the crap out of little kids with paint. I got drunk that night with glass sized vodka and jager shots. By the end my face was colored a sickly mix of red, purple, white, silver, orange, and yellow . I guess you could say my delayed flight made me feel blue (baddmmchh)! Daniel (ze German) got even more wasted than me and ended up stumbling into our hostel room, propped up by the receptionist, shouting that he needed some weed. Now I know what a drug addicted umpa lumpa looks like.

Oh, I'm sorry to end this post on a downer, but I have one lasting impression of intrepid I want to vent to the world. Intrepid really knows their shit, but they rip off locals! I found out that only 5% of the $1350 I payed Intrepid to climb everest actually goes to the guides and porters, the rest goes back to Australia! If you're going to book a trip to Everest, hire a your own personal Sherpa to guide you - it'll be cheaper and you'll do more good for the Nepalis people.

Alright, my flight is about to board! I'm finally going to Dubai to meet my cousins, aunty and my mum who had skillfully tried to surprise me in Dubai. I'm coming mamma!

Nepal day 3

We woke up today and immediately went on the hunt for street food. Brad and I found a place which had a restaurant which had a roof with no holes in it so we decided to enter. Matt was unimpressed with the quality of the restaurant so he decided to go elsewhere. Brad and I remained and enjoyed delicious meals. Brad was super white and had fried rice with chicken. I saw a local next to me eating a large dish called salakana and asked to get the same. Yet again, it had no meat in it and it tasted amazing! I was given a spoon but I chose to eat the meal with my right hand anyway, just like the locals around me did. I also got a 'milk tea' which I thought would be new and exciting, but turned out to be a hot chocolate.

We got talking to a local called Biso while we were at the restaurant. He told us about how he had to drive 4 hours to get to work everyday just to work as a barman in a hostel. And to think I hated traveling 1.5 hours by public transport to go to Uni...

At 2:00pm our Everest group had our first meeting in the loby of the hotel we were staying at. The meeting was dull and the presenter just recited what was already written on the trip notes. The group we are traveling with, on the other hand, seemed overwhelming friendly and energetic. As far as I can tell we the group consists of; 7 Aussies, 3 Brits and 1 German.

I organized to go drinking with quite a lot of them at the Irish pub right by our hotel. It was a lot of fun. Great music and great company. I tried Everest beer there. I don't know why but I suspect it will taste better at base camp.

It started raining and hailing towards the end of the night which makes me think the plane might be delayed in the morning. After all, our flight is scheduled to leave leave at 6:15am.

Oh yeah, my mum gave me the wise advice to drink lots while I'm climbing Everest. Thats why I plan to buy a bottle of rum when I arrive at Lukla airport tomorrow morning.

Well its 11pm right now and I have to wake up at 4am tomorrow morning, so I think I'll end my post here. I doubt I'll have WiFi to write about my Everest trip as I experience it, so for the next 13 days expect nothing but silence!

:D

Nepal day 2

Brad, Matt and I sluggishly woke up and guilt tripped ourselves to go for a walk around Kathmandu. I love the character of Nepal; there were shop signs poking out everywhere, electrical wires tangled in large clumps, and people offering you cocaine at 9:00 in the morning. Who needs coffee, right?

We ended up having breakfast at a place called 'bon appetit'. I had a Nepalese omlet which had absolutely no meat in it, yet somehow managed to taste amazing! How do they do it? I have to have to eat a whole cow to enjoy my spaghetti back home.

Just by walking around we found out today was actually a very special day according to the Hindu religion. All I managed to find out by talking to people was that it had something to do with the God of destruction. Consequently we payed 500 NPR to go Pasupatinath temple. The taxi wasn't able to drive us the whole way because it was so packed with people. There must have been at least 300,000 people outside the temple alone, and there was a line about 1km long to enter. Instead we decided to walk around the area to see if we could at least get a glimpse the temple. Sadly we couldn't see anything so we decided to swim back to the main street and catch a taxi back home. When we got back we talked to the receptionist why it was so popular to see the temple. He said it was because it was the only place and the only time that marijuana was legal.

For lunch we had 10 samosas and 3 'jerries' which are kinda like thin donuts. Once again a great meal without meat! How!?

Later we went for a pub crawl. We all got semi drunk on cocktails. I wanted to have beer but the cocktails were much cheaper and the bar staff kept over pouring local rum in my drinks. I just can't say no to cheap rum! Even when you account for the 10% tip AND 13% service tax its still very cheap. Oh we also got free popcorn! Win.

At one point a bunch of kids wandered into the rooftop bar to beg for money. Apparently its a thing kids do once a year for 'sibrapri'.

Nepal day 1

I arrived in Kathmandu in the early afternoon. Immediately I was given a flashback of Indonesia because so many people came up to me to try and offer me 'super cheap' taxi deals. At this point I considered myself a veteran for finding cheap taxis so I managed to get to the guest house for about $3.

I was dropped just outside the guest house and was immediately approached by a few locals trying to advertise a cheaper hostel for me to stay at. When I told them I'd already payed for the guest house they immediately changed character and asked me if I wanted to buy marajuana from them. Crazy!

I spent quite a bit of time in the guest house catching up on sleep and writing my blog. But after a few hours my body changed priorities and told me to go out in search for food. I tried 'alu paratha' - its kinda like naan bread and it tastes delicious.

I really like Kathmandu. Its nice and cold which is a refreshing break from hot and humid Thailand. The people also speak much better English here which makes it much easier to chat and talk to locals. Lastly, the architecture is very different from Indonesia and Thailand; all the buildings are really squeezed together, there are no side carts and the roads are much narrower - i think the city would seem very efficient and organized if it wasn't for the poverty that inhabits it.

Matt and Brad were scheduled to arrive at the hostel at 11:00pm, however due to immigration problems they arrived almost 3 hours later. At the time I was pretty paranoid and decided to contact their friends from the Philippines via Facebook.

When they arrived we retold a condensed summary of our trips and then passed out in our beds.

Thailand day 14

I woke up at 9:00am hungover and sleep deprived. After deciding getting more sleep was futile, I went on a mission to find the closest greasy meal. About 20 seconds into my walk I found a broken down, unhygienic shack selling rice, duck and some kind of sweet sauce. I had two servings to myself. I can't tell you how awesome it is to get the taste of cockroach out of your mouth.

By about midday Luke and I decided to go to Siam to see the capital. We went there with the intent of being energetic tourists, but the hangover got the better of us and we ended up unenthusiastically dragging our feet around town. We found this one gym which was offering a year membership for 20 Baht (80 cents). The thought of paying money (no matter how little) to do exercise sounded like torture so we decided to leave and head back to Khao San rd.

As soon as we arrived at Khao San rd I sought out the nearest massage parlor. I emptied my wallet in front of them and asked for the longest massage possible.

Later we got in contact with Sarah and Cassia. They were heading to sky bar and invited us to join. Sky bar was a posh and expensive bar that had a dress code. Luke and I were hungover, poor and didn't have a single buttoned shirt so we politely declined.

Instead we had casual drinks at the same pub we went to yesterday. There we met a few German guys and a Canadian. The Canadian guy was really cool, but he had a longer beard than me so I hated him anyway. After only about 10 minutes of talking to each other I casually mentioned without any hesitation or subtlety that we should see a ping pong show. The vote was a unanynous 'yes', so after a few more beers we were on our way.

The show was awful. It was expensive, unimpressive and only lasted 10 minutes. Convinced that we couldn't leave Bangkok on a low point, we decided to go somewhere for food and drinks afterwards. That was much better.

When I got back I slept for about 3 hours before I had to leave to catch my flight. Not an easy task.