Getting a job

Gather ‘round children, let me tell you a tale filled with wonder, excitement, disappointment, judgement and mercy

Once upon a time a young boy found himself frolicking around his neighborhood, prancing from street to street without the slightest hint of suspicion. Don't let appearance fool you, though! The young boy had a grin on his face and jump in his step, but a worrying thought in his mind. For only hours earlier, the young boy had been at a nasty place called Knox Grammar! For it was at this place, filled with overgrown vines and perpetual thunder, that the boy was told a secret from his teacher. A secret, that once known, could not be unknown. Another student, a friend perhaps, had innocently asked this teacher

"my grades aren't good, will I ever get a job?".

The teacher crawled up to the boy and tickled his chin, then turned around and said on a whim 

"It's not about the grades you make, it's about the hands you shake."

Silence spread through the room instantly. The teacher paused, hesitated, then bellowed out

"It really doesn't matter whether your credentials vouch for you or not, all that matters is your reputation"

The children then started clapping and making a beat while the teacher continued:

"As long as you; look presentable, have a firm handshake and glint in your eye,

then the job shall be yours, I assure you, 

because that's how I got mine

For you see children, you don't need skills,

no, not at all,

but if you don't wear polished shoes, then prepare to fall!

Employers will skip past the credentials and go to the picture,

they'll see a while male and know not to hit 'ya

A suit is your best friend

It says more than a degree ever could

but remember, dear children

your real advantage is rich parenthood"

At this point the class burst into song with the teacher:

Class: "so you're saying we don't need credentials?"

Teacher: "That's right, just networking potential!"

Class: "but what if we're not fit for the job?"

Teacher: "That's what hiring minorities is for, you silly sod!"

The class soon ended and all the children confidently marched home. Our young hero, all the while, pondering the truth of the employment process. The young boy murmured under a whimper

"perhaps there is an employer somewhere out there

that will hire people regardless of what they wear

maybe, just maybe there's a company that

doesn't discriminate, and focus's on stat's"

And that is the tale of our young hero. Eight years later he works a nine till five, pondering to this day whether a moral employment system might still be alive.