So, this is awkward. After 6 years of University level education, 4 years of industry & academic work in Australasia, and 2 years working my 'dream job' at ASML, I've decided it might be time to make a giant career switch.
Brief Background:
When I first joined ASML my architect mentor mentioned to me that the first 6 months are the 'honeymoon' period. It's where you spend your initial time just learning as much as you can about the company without any pressure to contribute. He was right. The first 6 months of ASML were fantastic. I learned a lot about the company and the machines, and as a bonus, I actually contributed quite a bit. I got to work on really well-defined theoretical tasks that I think I performed very well at. Sadly, reality hit pretty hard after that. The nature of my work changed pretty abruptly. It turns out that real engineering tasks aren't all well-defined theoretical tasks. Most of them are poorly defined, higher-level design decisions that require common sense, communication skills, and the ability to learn top-down rapidly. This is my kryptonite. I like well-defined nitty-gritty tasks that require a lot of maths, and most importantly, a bottom-up understanding (building on an idea from the fundamentals). A catalyst to this was the lack of learning material; if you're stuck on something at University, you can always go to the textbook or YouTube to learn it. But in the real world - which is a messy place filled with incomplete documentation - the only way to clear doubts about how a machine/part works is to ask a colleague/s. What do you do after you've asked your colleague 5 times already? What do you do if the colleague knows less theory than you and can only explain a concept in a flawed way? What do you do if the task is undefined? The answer is iteration, determination, a positive attitude, and an ability to rapidly learn incomplete parts of a picture top-down. I cannot do the last part. It's not in my DNA. And any small shred of ability I have to learn top-down rapidly has been successfully stamped out by my years in academia.
This failure wouldn't bother me as much as it does if I didn't feel like I was the only person on the planet with this problem. When I ask my other colleagues about the mismatch between Engineering at University and Engineering in the real world, they often shrug it off. The typical answer sounds like "Yeah, it's a bit different I guess. But University was still useful in teaching me how to think analytically or what jargon is used". I cannot comprehend this answer. To them, the difference is a small puddle to jump over. To me, it's an ocean - and I'm drowning in it. "Think analytically" !?! I was thinking as analytically now as I was back in high school. "Know Jargon"?? You can learn all the jargon you need within a single week. You don't need 6 years of learning moments of inertia, euler bernoili beam theory, nonlinear differential equations, von mises stress formulas, and so much more just to 'think analytically'. In some sense, I feel like my University has betrayed me in how poorly its prepared me for the real world. It's as if I'd been swindled or robbed.
Imagine you did a degree in French literature, and upon graduating you get your dream job at FrenchLiterature Incorperated. Then, within the first 6 months, you're handed a harness, climbing shoes, rope, and a chalk bag, and are politely asked to ascend boulders for the rest of your career. With a baffled expression on your face, you begin climbing the boulder, only to realize you're a really shit climber. All of your years studying French literature have left you with very weak upper body strength. After failing to ascend more than 2 meters, you look around in disbelief as you see your other French literature colleagues summit Everest with ease. Stunned, you ask your other colleagues for clarity. Your colleagues shrug their shoulders and say "yeah, well, when you study French literature, you were writing with your right hand - the same right hand you use to climb with - so it's not so different".
And so here I am, sliding down the corporate ladder looking at what other adjacent ladders are within reach.
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