Smartphones!
ding! ding! ding!
Everyone wastes so much time on their Smartphones these days! Nobody talks to each other anymore, they just fixate on a glowing screen in their hands for hours and hours. Sure, they provide instant entertainment, but at the cost of our humanity! We're all connected, but nobody is connecting blah blah blah blah blah...
What a bunch of bullshit. Smartphones are awesome. Sure they're expensive and their screens break easily, but it's totally worth it. My phone has been under repair for the last week, and it made me realize how much I need constant access to Facebook, BBC, Google Maps and Angry Birds. For the first time in ages, I was forced to read a book on the train to work! How primitive! The swiping mechanisms on a book just doesn't compare to the iPhone 6. Although to be honest, the battery life on the book was pretty outstanding. Oh and who cares if Facebook, YouTube and Smartphones are making us more antisocial? That's a good thing! It means more people will enter fields like Engineering and Mathematics at Uni! I reckon global social ineptness is a small price to pay for a personal jet-pack or extra bionic limb. Bring on the next generation of super socially stunted scientists!
Now as y'all know, I'm pretty bloody awesome at predicting the future. (if you don't know, trust me, you will). I reckon the next Apple product to completely revolutionize society as we know it will be called: "the iHat". It'll be just a regular ordinary top hat, except it'll have the Apple logo on it and you'll have to squeeze it over your face to obstruct all your senses. Then you can buy basic accessories for $50 each like; a vaporizer that releases a puff of nicotine every 10 seconds into your nose, a tube that feeds the grease from a cheeseburger directly into your mouth, and headphones that automatically alert you when someone on Tinder is within 5 meters away! I personally can't wait! Brave new world, here I come!
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